forever: an illusion

Forever: without ever ending; eternally: to last forever, continually; incessantly; always. Forever and always. words that can only be expressed but never really defined as such, there is no such thing as forever. Best friends forever, they eventually disappoint you and turn their backs on you for reasons unbenounced to you, friends you thought you would have "forever" well they too fall in the same category as the previously mentioned; forever and always, such common words expressed with no true concrete meaning, an illusion.

I often run into the quote, "people are less mysterious than they seem," but recently gave this quote a second look. Yes, there are some people you know so well you could write their life story better than they could; there are people you date and live with and get to know really well; there is family who you should know really well; there are your friends, the people you surround yourself with and might as well be family (with possible connection minus DNA) who you must know, you know so much about these people, you think the world of them, you vacation together, you talk about everything and anything....friends forever. But how well do we really know eachother? Friends, lovers, and family included. Family plays no less into this equation than the others...all of these people you've let into your life by choice or at birth...how well do we know eachother? Well enough to think or believe they would never be capable of such cruel intentions or disappointment. They let us down. We let ourselves down. Maybe we didn't ask enough questions to really get to know them...maybe we opened up too much letting them in without them letting us in. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we only know a person as much as we think we know them. Even family members during times of our lives feel like strangers in the distance, knowing and loving them just the same, but how well do we actually know them, just how close are all of us?

People are disappointing, just like any other disappointment in life, but this kind hurts the most, coming from people you invested in, loved, cared for, and thought you knew. This entry comes at a time when I wish I could be there for someone who is going through shit. I wish I knew what to say, but sometimes saying things is not nearly as important as listening and supporting them. People are cruel, why would they just walk out on you or literally stab you in the back when all you've been, especially lately is all that you have always been. so embrace me, love me, support me. Unfortunately not always the case.

"I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end."

So all we can do is the best that we can do, love those who love us back, trust and be trusted, tell the truth (its much easier in the end than not) and be true to ourselves, and if that bites us in the you know what at the end of the day, we can only learn and grow stronger from this. Take it all in, deal with it and move on. "Why would someone ruin my life? why would someone stop being my friend...?" People will do silly things with or without reasons known, when they're jealous(of our happiness?), hurt(by the decisions we made for ourself, not them), unstable, confused, what have you... Maybe next time we won't be so trusting or open, or maybe so we should focus on the ones that may just stick around for forever.

"As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened and we can't."

"Things will happen in your life that you can't stop. But that's no reason to shut out the world, there's a purpose for the good and for the bad"

"Where i go i just don't know
I've got to got to gotta take it slow
When i find my peace of mind
I'm gonna give you some of my good time

Today love smiled on me
It took away my pain said"please
Oh let your ride be free
You gotta let it be oh yeah"