5.11.2011

determination.

"Being who you are is one of the bravest and most rewarding experiences. So start immediately - as you can't imagine how much fun you'll have, until you do."


I'm yelling on the inside, but only because it's not even 7 am yet, and week 7 is about half way done!! I made it. I DID IT. I created for myself and no one else, a life change, a routine.... when my alarm went off this morning at 5:13, sure there were a few thoughts in my head wanting to just turn over and go back to sleep, but next thing I knew, my feet swung to the side and were off the bed, damn it, now I had to get up and go to the gym, or I'd be thinking about how I didn't just go all day! Those feet have a mind of their own these days... so I went, with bags under my eyes, skin still smelling of chlorine from last night's water aerobics, I went and I am happy I did. I broke my record of time running on the treadmill, not the amount of intervals, but the time! I'll take it! Maybe it was the music that I finally decided to bring my ipod, the fast paced songs...the songs you like to sing a the top of your lungs in the car....the songs that just pick you up either because you can relate ever so perfectly to the lyrics or the beat is just rather catchy. Whatever it was, those legs just kept moving today...maybe it was the stress I needed to burn? How many more days of the school year? This girl could use a week and a half break before going at it again in the summer program!

So exhaustion aside, because I really have never been more tired, it's just not like me, I always seem to go go go with one household chore or another, rearrange this, clean this...damn ocd...exhaustion aside, I am content. tickled pink. gratified. satisfied. fulfilled. with my progress at the gym, in my relationship, in my family life, and in my own personal growth.... I have come a long way from the shit relationships, being with people who just bring you down, do the opposite of compliment you, and take everything out of you, a long way from feeling bad about myself, a long way from not feeling worth something, deserving of little...

The 36 minutes, 2.11 miles, and 217 calories burned couldn't have ended to a better song on the ipod...from the Glee soundtrack, "Just the Way You Are"

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

5.07.2011

exhaustion.

Exhaustion: noun. extreme weakness or fatigue. That'd be me! week 6 came to an end at the gym, end of a crazy irritable student at work for the past two weeks... it's sad and exhausting on my mind, and if there were a time where I'd fall of the treadmill, it should have been yesterday morning. I didn't! However, I should have since I'm pretty sure at one point, my right foot didn't even make it up when running, dragging... oh boy. Nevermind the fact that the treadmill machine FLASHED "RUNNING IS NOT ADVISED..." haha... apparently my heart rate was too high, but I finished that two minute interval if it killed me!!




Russell looks in this picture how I feel!! Exhausted but very much proud of myself after another week of survival if you will. yeah, that's what I will call it survival...not only in my place of employment, working with children with autism and behaviors beyond my control or help at times, but also in the gym...After weeks of pushing myself to get up at 5:20, on the treadmill by 5:45, arms, abs and water aerobics... it is all worth it. I am starting to not only feel better but start to see some changes!! It's all in how we feel about ourselves, as well of course being healthy and making healthier and smarter choices... choices and changes that will indeed pay off in the future.