Missy Mondays...family hotel shuttle service

    Another edition of Missy Mondays that is being posted not on Monday ha! 

     Let's see.... This week has been a little out of the usual routine for the both of us. Missy's grampy is taking a turn for the worse and the next few weeks are critical after an emergency surgery he had a few days ago. So with that said we have had some visitors from Maine... Missy's family, we have been putting up in our hotel/airport shuttle/used car lot business!! Sleep schedules have been off, emotions are at a high and low ...we have been preoccupied with her grampy, meeting with wedding Djs and among all of this... Why not give a juicing fast a try!!! Oh man oh man!!! But we are doing it and just taking a day at a time with all of the sad news and medical updates, trying to be there for her family and each other. 

   On a happier note, We had a party get together Saturday night and it was a success! By success I mean a great turn out but also a personal success...I had a party and didn't drink any alcohol! It has been since December 29,2013. I am very proud of myself. I continue to surprise myself with my strength and motivation that is coming from somewhere within!! Cheers, with my coke zero or water, to more good things coming our way!!!!!

Wedding and future baby plans continue to take off and we may have found our DJs too! Life is good. 

Missy Monday's

Just in case you haven't noticed... I am so in love. It's funny how your priorities can change in a such a short period of time. That's how I know I am ready. I have been wanting this, wanting these feelings, this relationship, this friendship, this comfort and acceptance and love, just never was the right time. 

Our relationship keeps growing in love, in friendship, and in trust. I know it has been just shy of three months but when you know you truly do just know! The past few days, we have been discussing ways to save money for the wedding and our future children....and we don't mean for their college loans or even formula... We are just talking about the sperm donation. Never realized how expensive that stuff is, who knew. So the planning has begun and continued for both exciting things in our future.

You allow me to be completely comfortable with myself no matter my size, clothing or anything else that may otherwise make myself self conscious. I love you so much and I am learning more and more about unconditional love, acceptance and partnership. 

Missy Monday's (or thursday morning)

This edition on Missy Monday's...or maybe at this point, I should just call it Weekly Edition of My Love for and with Missy... but anyways. It's all good.

She is just amazing. I can't say enough good things about her, about our relationship these past few short months. I am so in love with her, and not that fake butterfly feeling in my stomach and head in the clouds, hanging out in a make believe world. The real... in love feeling, real life, knowing things are not perfect, nor do we live in a perfect world. This I am very much aware of. She has made me feel the most safe, loved, respected, cared for person I have ever felt. I love the way she loves me, the way she looks at me, the way she worries about me. 

This past week has been great. We had fights, little tiffs, laughter and tears, and some more laughter. We went to a party at my parents for the football game, where she met most all of my mom's friends who have been in my life, my whole life, and will hopefully be at our wedding. Things started out crappy that day for the both of us, due to our womanly monthly responsibilities, and her ankle was really sore. There are just some things that will take both of us time to adjust, get used to, remember so we don't have to ask all the questions and whatnot all the time. We will get there, I know we will.

 She brings instant tears to my eyes, but in a good way. She is truly allowing me to break down all the walls I have had and allowing me to flood my emotions out rather than keep them blocked inside me. I feel so safe and loved. She watched this video of me singing and dancing in the living room (fully clothed people...get your minds out of the gutter!! ha) right after our little tiff. She is sooo not like everyone else from my past. And she reminds me every single day.

We have done more talking this past week than I have done in my past relationships probably in the whole two and half years. Communication is so important to both of us, and we definitely have that. She makes me want to be a better person. I haven't had a drink all year!! I look forward to sunday mornings with her at church, look forward to coming home to her from work, look forward to her meeting my friends and family and loved ones, and vice versa. We have done lots and lots of wedding plans, agreed on most everything, laugh and embrace each other more and more each day. The planning to our future has already begun, and is happening daily. 

You, you are my reason. My reason I didn't give up on love, didn't give in to the thought about maybe living alone for the rest of my life., the reason why I kept getting out of bed and facing this crazy cruel world. You are my reason. You saved myself from my own misery. 

You are my prince(ss) charming!

I love you so very much Bebs!

Magical flurries

As I sit here contemplating should I leave for work right now or write a quick blog....write it is...as the snow falls outside the kitchen bay window, I can't help but wonder if it will be snowing on our wedding day this year? a little snow, a blizzard or maybe no snow at all....whatever the outcome weather wise, it will be the most magical day of my life thus far. And for that I can't help but continuously daydream all about it. I found my future. We found each other.

*new years day in Maine*

I am totally in love with the way she looks at me, and apparently I look that way at her too. :) I only wish those loved ones we have lost, could be here in the physical sense as well as spiritual... I wonder what their expressions would look like... when they see all the love radiating around us. 

Happy Friday!

Missy Mondays (a week late...holiday family recap)

On this edition of Missy Mondays.... it's a family holiday meeting of the future in-laws, week late, but better late than never kind of edition brought to you by me!! the love of Missy herself, me!!!!! LIANNE!!!! SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN LOVED IN WHAT LIKE 15 PLUS YEARS.... since I'm 31, whenever I started dating or showing interest in being in a relationship....I have never ever met anyone like her, which is sad but also great, because if I had met someone like her, I still would be jipped? ripped off somehow, still missing something, because I don't think there is anyone like her. 

What a week or two it has been...the last monday I wrote was the 23rd, so we shall start from there... The holidays, for some they are the dreaded family gatherings, or one of the few times we get together with those we love, or recalling the loved ones we lost wishing they were still here with us, or celebrating new love, new families and bright futures filled with hope and unconditional love, laughter and fun. 

Christmas eve and Christmas day, we spent with my family. As you readers may have figured out by my past blogs, I don't necessarily dread family gatherings these days; however, they are definitely not the same. With that being said, it did go better than I had thought, minus the fact that one brother was not there on Christmas eve. Missy and I made the most of it, we sat at the adult table, shared laughs and stories with my cousin Kristie, my parents and others. She played with the kids, we shared a yankee swap gift game, pictures were taken, hugs were given.  We spent the night at my parents so we would be there for gifts and breakfast Christmas morning. Breakfast was great, I wanted so badly to get up from the table to take a picture and capture the moment, but I know if I did, someone would have said something or moved just my luck. Instead, I stayed at the table, enjoying not only my french toast, but my family, all sitting at the table, not necessarily talking too much, but at least sitting all together in the same room. Presents exchanged, attitudes minimal and just enough love and smiles to get us through the day, for other family members to join us for a late lebanese food lunch and dessert that lasted well into the early evening hours. Kisses to Russell, as I would be leaving him for a week for more family time with her family, and my future extended family as well!!!!!

And we were off, to share in some more laughs, a little more organized chaos, jello shots and pictures pictures pictures. I had a blast getting to know her family, seeing her interact with her siblings, nieces and nephews. We played cards with her siblings, their spouses, and her father. Laughs were shared as well as many jello shots, and wine. WINE AND PASTA FOR A FEW DAYS!!! YUM! Oh and did I mention dancing? Yes, some dancing took place on the first night we were all together there, just a preview for the wedding, Missy's dad's dance moves. OH BOY! Just to give you an idea, when we woke up friday morning, everyone was like "oh, Lianne, you are still here, we didn't scare you away yet, that's a good sign." I'm not scared of a little dancing...bring on the fun! AHHHH, I am getting married this year!!!! WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!! 

It was a great visit, ended up being a lot more emotional than I had planned. All of the laughs, the joking around, the playing games with little kids, it all just got me thinking of how my family used to be. Truly, the good ol' days; when there were more sounds of pitter patter around the kitchen and family rooms, silly sounds of kids playing while the adults were finishing up breakfast around the table. The good ol' days, everyone together, doing nothing but making memories in the mean time. It's funny how that works. Talks about my family, their family, traditions, memories, and WEDDING PLANS!!!!! So we got to talking about bridesmaids dresses, ornaments and whatnot, next thing I know we are at David's Bridal trying on bridesmaids dresses with her mom, us, and her two sisters. SO EXCITING AND I WAS SO NERVOUS!! We found the dress for the bridesmaids and it was one that wasn't even on my favorites list. hah. We are driving home to get ready for their family Christmas, and the next thing I know we are at Alfred Angelo, trying on wedding dresses for ME!!! Missy was sooo very excited as were her two sisters and my future mother in law. Missy stayed in the car while I tried on dresses. I fell in love with two of them! This was the first time I had ever tried on wedding dresses!! Such a weird amazing feeling. I only wished my mom was there. So we called her when we got back to Missy's sister's house, and her and my dad came down the next morning. AHHHHH, I didn't even want Missy to meet my parents in 2013, and now here we are engaged to be married, and spending time with each others families, and our parents meeting each other. My dad hung out with the rest of the fam and my mom and I went to try on dresses!!! We bought my wedding dress! I HAVE MY WEDDING DRESS!!! and it will be a surprise for everyone to see!! I am so very excited to see the look on Missy's face when I turn to walk down the aisle. I am so in love with her. It's been a crazy ride thus far, and today only marks the three months we started talking. Surreal. And I am loving every minute of it. 

Sure there will be hard times, and really hard times, but as long as we have communication we will be more than ok. 

We spent our first new years eve in Farmington, where she first laid eyes on me 13 years ago. It was so awesome being there, since I haven't been since I graduated in 2004. Even more special because I was with her. Next year, next new year's eve, we will be married, and that is amazing to me.