Well when you have enough loved ones in the heavens above you...that sounded a bit too religious but you get what I am saying. I remember it like it was yesterday, 11 years ago today, sleeping in my pink walls and pink rug childhood room, home from college for christmas break, just returning from our last family trip (all five of us) from disney on january 3rd, only to experience one of the biggest heartaches a kid should not have to go through. I still remember the sound of your voice down the hall, my youngest brother, tears and cries you can't even imagine. To say the sound was heart wrenching is an understatement. He just turned 13 1 day shy of a month before his godmother, our aunt had passed from her 4 year courageous battle with breast cancer. My three cousins, motherless. There were no words, only tears. I remember the phone ringing, I remember my dad trying to hold back the tears to tell me, I remember my mom was already gone to tell Sittoo with the others. I remember rolling over to face the wall, shutting my eyes, so numb at first that it took a few minutes for tears to start rolling. And the pain. all of the pain I could hear from down the hall and from my other brother across the way.
It's been 11 years. I don't remember your voice, but I do remember your smile. I don't remember your smell, but I do remember how you'd call my mom everyday, even if it was just to say hi. I don't remember your touch, but I do remember the way you walked.
It's been 11 years, eleven years since all of our lives changed, and if somehow you could just let us know you are ok, and that you are watching us, we all know you'd say to be happy, keep going on, don't worry about me, I am rested, pain-free, comfortable. I am living, we are living, but my sadness on this day, I guess is my way of respecting you and what you meant to me, to all of us. Not a day goes by that you are not missed, thought about, or talked about by one of us.
So today, I remember you, we remember you, by being together out at dinner eating a cinnamon roll just for you!
Love and Miss you Auntie, you're all around us...
