Missy Mondays...family hotel shuttle service

    Another edition of Missy Mondays that is being posted not on Monday ha! 

     Let's see.... This week has been a little out of the usual routine for the both of us. Missy's grampy is taking a turn for the worse and the next few weeks are critical after an emergency surgery he had a few days ago. So with that said we have had some visitors from Maine... Missy's family, we have been putting up in our hotel/airport shuttle/used car lot business!! Sleep schedules have been off, emotions are at a high and low ...we have been preoccupied with her grampy, meeting with wedding Djs and among all of this... Why not give a juicing fast a try!!! Oh man oh man!!! But we are doing it and just taking a day at a time with all of the sad news and medical updates, trying to be there for her family and each other. 

   On a happier note, We had a party get together Saturday night and it was a success! By success I mean a great turn out but also a personal success...I had a party and didn't drink any alcohol! It has been since December 29,2013. I am very proud of myself. I continue to surprise myself with my strength and motivation that is coming from somewhere within!! Cheers, with my coke zero or water, to more good things coming our way!!!!!

Wedding and future baby plans continue to take off and we may have found our DJs too! Life is good. 

Missy Monday's

Just in case you haven't noticed... I am so in love. It's funny how your priorities can change in a such a short period of time. That's how I know I am ready. I have been wanting this, wanting these feelings, this relationship, this friendship, this comfort and acceptance and love, just never was the right time. 

Our relationship keeps growing in love, in friendship, and in trust. I know it has been just shy of three months but when you know you truly do just know! The past few days, we have been discussing ways to save money for the wedding and our future children....and we don't mean for their college loans or even formula... We are just talking about the sperm donation. Never realized how expensive that stuff is, who knew. So the planning has begun and continued for both exciting things in our future.

You allow me to be completely comfortable with myself no matter my size, clothing or anything else that may otherwise make myself self conscious. I love you so much and I am learning more and more about unconditional love, acceptance and partnership. 

Missy Monday's (or thursday morning)

This edition on Missy Monday's...or maybe at this point, I should just call it Weekly Edition of My Love for and with Missy... but anyways. It's all good.

She is just amazing. I can't say enough good things about her, about our relationship these past few short months. I am so in love with her, and not that fake butterfly feeling in my stomach and head in the clouds, hanging out in a make believe world. The real... in love feeling, real life, knowing things are not perfect, nor do we live in a perfect world. This I am very much aware of. She has made me feel the most safe, loved, respected, cared for person I have ever felt. I love the way she loves me, the way she looks at me, the way she worries about me. 

This past week has been great. We had fights, little tiffs, laughter and tears, and some more laughter. We went to a party at my parents for the football game, where she met most all of my mom's friends who have been in my life, my whole life, and will hopefully be at our wedding. Things started out crappy that day for the both of us, due to our womanly monthly responsibilities, and her ankle was really sore. There are just some things that will take both of us time to adjust, get used to, remember so we don't have to ask all the questions and whatnot all the time. We will get there, I know we will.

 She brings instant tears to my eyes, but in a good way. She is truly allowing me to break down all the walls I have had and allowing me to flood my emotions out rather than keep them blocked inside me. I feel so safe and loved. She watched this video of me singing and dancing in the living room (fully clothed people...get your minds out of the gutter!! ha) right after our little tiff. She is sooo not like everyone else from my past. And she reminds me every single day.

We have done more talking this past week than I have done in my past relationships probably in the whole two and half years. Communication is so important to both of us, and we definitely have that. She makes me want to be a better person. I haven't had a drink all year!! I look forward to sunday mornings with her at church, look forward to coming home to her from work, look forward to her meeting my friends and family and loved ones, and vice versa. We have done lots and lots of wedding plans, agreed on most everything, laugh and embrace each other more and more each day. The planning to our future has already begun, and is happening daily. 

You, you are my reason. My reason I didn't give up on love, didn't give in to the thought about maybe living alone for the rest of my life., the reason why I kept getting out of bed and facing this crazy cruel world. You are my reason. You saved myself from my own misery. 

You are my prince(ss) charming!

I love you so very much Bebs!

Magical flurries

As I sit here contemplating should I leave for work right now or write a quick blog....write it is...as the snow falls outside the kitchen bay window, I can't help but wonder if it will be snowing on our wedding day this year? a little snow, a blizzard or maybe no snow at all....whatever the outcome weather wise, it will be the most magical day of my life thus far. And for that I can't help but continuously daydream all about it. I found my future. We found each other.

*new years day in Maine*

I am totally in love with the way she looks at me, and apparently I look that way at her too. :) I only wish those loved ones we have lost, could be here in the physical sense as well as spiritual... I wonder what their expressions would look like... when they see all the love radiating around us. 

Happy Friday!

Missy Mondays (a week late...holiday family recap)

On this edition of Missy Mondays.... it's a family holiday meeting of the future in-laws, week late, but better late than never kind of edition brought to you by me!! the love of Missy herself, me!!!!! LIANNE!!!! SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN LOVED IN WHAT LIKE 15 PLUS YEARS.... since I'm 31, whenever I started dating or showing interest in being in a relationship....I have never ever met anyone like her, which is sad but also great, because if I had met someone like her, I still would be jipped? ripped off somehow, still missing something, because I don't think there is anyone like her. 

What a week or two it has been...the last monday I wrote was the 23rd, so we shall start from there... The holidays, for some they are the dreaded family gatherings, or one of the few times we get together with those we love, or recalling the loved ones we lost wishing they were still here with us, or celebrating new love, new families and bright futures filled with hope and unconditional love, laughter and fun. 

Christmas eve and Christmas day, we spent with my family. As you readers may have figured out by my past blogs, I don't necessarily dread family gatherings these days; however, they are definitely not the same. With that being said, it did go better than I had thought, minus the fact that one brother was not there on Christmas eve. Missy and I made the most of it, we sat at the adult table, shared laughs and stories with my cousin Kristie, my parents and others. She played with the kids, we shared a yankee swap gift game, pictures were taken, hugs were given.  We spent the night at my parents so we would be there for gifts and breakfast Christmas morning. Breakfast was great, I wanted so badly to get up from the table to take a picture and capture the moment, but I know if I did, someone would have said something or moved just my luck. Instead, I stayed at the table, enjoying not only my french toast, but my family, all sitting at the table, not necessarily talking too much, but at least sitting all together in the same room. Presents exchanged, attitudes minimal and just enough love and smiles to get us through the day, for other family members to join us for a late lebanese food lunch and dessert that lasted well into the early evening hours. Kisses to Russell, as I would be leaving him for a week for more family time with her family, and my future extended family as well!!!!!

And we were off, to share in some more laughs, a little more organized chaos, jello shots and pictures pictures pictures. I had a blast getting to know her family, seeing her interact with her siblings, nieces and nephews. We played cards with her siblings, their spouses, and her father. Laughs were shared as well as many jello shots, and wine. WINE AND PASTA FOR A FEW DAYS!!! YUM! Oh and did I mention dancing? Yes, some dancing took place on the first night we were all together there, just a preview for the wedding, Missy's dad's dance moves. OH BOY! Just to give you an idea, when we woke up friday morning, everyone was like "oh, Lianne, you are still here, we didn't scare you away yet, that's a good sign." I'm not scared of a little dancing...bring on the fun! AHHHH, I am getting married this year!!!! WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!! 

It was a great visit, ended up being a lot more emotional than I had planned. All of the laughs, the joking around, the playing games with little kids, it all just got me thinking of how my family used to be. Truly, the good ol' days; when there were more sounds of pitter patter around the kitchen and family rooms, silly sounds of kids playing while the adults were finishing up breakfast around the table. The good ol' days, everyone together, doing nothing but making memories in the mean time. It's funny how that works. Talks about my family, their family, traditions, memories, and WEDDING PLANS!!!!! So we got to talking about bridesmaids dresses, ornaments and whatnot, next thing I know we are at David's Bridal trying on bridesmaids dresses with her mom, us, and her two sisters. SO EXCITING AND I WAS SO NERVOUS!! We found the dress for the bridesmaids and it was one that wasn't even on my favorites list. hah. We are driving home to get ready for their family Christmas, and the next thing I know we are at Alfred Angelo, trying on wedding dresses for ME!!! Missy was sooo very excited as were her two sisters and my future mother in law. Missy stayed in the car while I tried on dresses. I fell in love with two of them! This was the first time I had ever tried on wedding dresses!! Such a weird amazing feeling. I only wished my mom was there. So we called her when we got back to Missy's sister's house, and her and my dad came down the next morning. AHHHHH, I didn't even want Missy to meet my parents in 2013, and now here we are engaged to be married, and spending time with each others families, and our parents meeting each other. My dad hung out with the rest of the fam and my mom and I went to try on dresses!!! We bought my wedding dress! I HAVE MY WEDDING DRESS!!! and it will be a surprise for everyone to see!! I am so very excited to see the look on Missy's face when I turn to walk down the aisle. I am so in love with her. It's been a crazy ride thus far, and today only marks the three months we started talking. Surreal. And I am loving every minute of it. 

Sure there will be hard times, and really hard times, but as long as we have communication we will be more than ok. 

We spent our first new years eve in Farmington, where she first laid eyes on me 13 years ago. It was so awesome being there, since I haven't been since I graduated in 2004. Even more special because I was with her. Next year, next new year's eve, we will be married, and that is amazing to me. 

Missy Monday's

Happy Happy Monday.... a few happy's since I didn't have work today! That's one good thing about the holidays and working in an elementary school, VACATIONS! 

So, with that said, it has continued to be a crazy week with more things on the calendar than I would like, but when Saturday rolled around, after working my respite job, it marked the start of my eleven days in a row off from work!! And that made Missy very happy. 

"I want to contribute to this relationship," I told Missy as we were sitting at my mom's kitchen table with her for a bit earlier this evening. My mom's reaction, "wow, that's a change huh." As it sure is a change from my past relationships; however, I am not the type of person to just sit back and have everything done for me, as I tried once again to do the laundry to her liking. Never again. The laundry is all hers, as she reminded me ever so nicely. Also stating that I do contribute things to this relationship. As I know I do, but it is an adjustment for me. I have never been in a relationship where someone has been so beyond excited to see me come home from the end of a work day, or thrilled that she will have the next eleven days with me, never mind want to do the laundry and shopping for the house. So, we tend to both be stubborn sometimes in finding our ways in this new blossoming relationship and heads are bumped and bruised, but with no hard feelings or bad intentions. We are both very caring and loving people who want to give give give and are far too humble when receiving care or gifts or any other kind gestures. 

More tears, laughs and silly looks and faces have been exchanged this week. Another week closer to each other's hearts, minds and bodies. She was made for me. 

"Love is in the air"

Life is so funny sometimes, I have been saying that for years now. I am also a true believer that everything does happen for a reason, despite not knowing the reasons at those moments or even ever. I have found my reason. She is my reason. She is the reason I kept living, hoping, and looking, without looking, for love, for someone to share my interests, dreams, hopes and life. 

I knew it the moment I hugged her on October 13, 2013 when we "met" for the first time after ten plus years or so ago being and living on the same college campus in Farmington Maine. She thought I was attractive then, and just not into girls...so as much surprise to her finding me on match.com and looking for love with girls, she was beside herself. To make a long story short, we've been talking ever since that Saturday night in October, through face book, texts and soon to be the phone, all day everyday. 

Love is surely in the air! Everything was moving so fast, yet so comfortably "fast." We were honestly taking things day to day, and one thing after another. I asked her to be my girlfriend, she moved from Maine to be with me a few weeks later, received her new Massachusetts state license in the mail, we talked about children and marriage, we went ring shopping, ER visits (she bought the ring the next day and much to her excitement, was frazzled and fell over a store sign...), asked my dad for his permission, kept it from my mom for three very, very long weeks, booked a wedding venue, now just the wait for her to ask me. Well....December12, 2013, Love was certainly in the air. 

Missy is very much a romantic, she is a lot like me in that way, even surprising me more and more each day with how she is, it's just who she is, and I am more than ok with that! Waking up to cards and laundry folded and whatnot is not unusual living with her, but little did I know that Thursday morning, December 12th, I was in for a surprise of a lifetime, despite the fact I knew we had a ring and a date and a wedding venue. I left for work at my usual time, where I found card #1 in my car waiting for me. So sweet. At the elementary school where I work, I had something in the office waiting for me. AAAHHHH I hate surprises, but secretly like them. Five beautiful pink roses waiting for me with card #2, talking about children and our future and how beautiful I am, that she hopes our children look just like me one day. Card #3 was waiting for me in my car as well after I decided to change up her plans a little bit and make her nervous because I hadn't gone to my mom's house before the gym like I had every other thursday! Card #3 with 3 white frames of our pictures and the box of matches I had gotten her on our first date. Later to find out, Missy thought card #3 was going to give it away that today was the day, but not the case. I made her more nervous by driving to the gym and talking to her on the phone about not even wanting to go to the gym, and people driving like crazies so I quickly rushed off the phone with her and went to the gym. Card #4 was in my car waiting for me after the gym, I saw it sitting there on the seat around 6:06 when I left the gym, and I was looking around the parking lot in amazement as if she was going to pop out of a tree or something. No worries, that didn't happen. Card #4 had me in tears, and when I opened up the last trifold it stated something like this, "now open the trunk there is a bag of clothes and everything in there, go back into the gym, take a shower and get ready, kind of hurry though because we have dinner plans at 7, and call me after you are ready to go and I will tell you where to meet me, I love you Lianne, and sorry I couldn't be there to blindfold you." AHHHHHHHH, I ran into the gym, shower, so frazzled and shaking, holding back the tears and excitement as best I could so people didn't think I was some crazy person smiling and crying to myself. hahaha. I was out of there by 6:30, in the car and on my way to the Boynton Restaurant. 

I called Erika and Michelle on the way there because after card #4, I knew this was it, this was really going to happen, and neither of them answered their phones!!!! Sarah answered hers, and I screamed a few times, and then had to get off the phone so I could semi-concentrate on getting to the restaurant in one piece! 

I parked my car in the lot, saw her waiting for me in the lobby, her elbows resting on her knees as she was leaning over in her seat, I looked up at her, locked eyes and had the biggest smile on my face. We greeted each other in the lobby, grabbed her hand and she led me to our table upstairs, as I thought um, ok why are we passing the hostess...but kept my hand in hers as she led the way. I walked up the stairs and in the corner table, there were five people holding up menus covering their faces, they took them down as we approached closer!! AAAHHHHHHH as I yelled out loud in the restaurant, good thing the restaurant was loud anyways! It was Missy's best friend Carmen, my friend Courtney and Erika, and my best friend Michelle and her fiance, Kyle. AAAAHHHH, As I pointed to them around the table, in the order listed above, you live in maine, you have work late, you are supposed to be on your way to boston, and you live in maine, what the heck are you guys doing here!!!! I WAS BEYOND EXCITED!!!! They even had the captain waiting for me with coke and a lime!! It was perfect, I could not stop smiling. Does it say stupid on my forehead, because Missy was still trying to act as if nothing was going to happen tonight, but rather tomorrow on the 13th. They were all here just for a pre-celebratory dinner. hahaha ya, ok! After dinner, plates were cleared, conversation continued and Missy headed to the bathroom...came back a long time after, it seemed like forever anyways, asked me to stand up with her, I kept saying stop it, stop it, and couldn't even look at her. Is this real life? Is this really happening? My friends had their phones out and Carmen was videotaping. And as far as I was concerned it was just Missy and I in the whole entire restaurant. She kneeled down on one knee, pulled the ring out of her pocket and asked me to marry her, in front my friends and strangers. I said yes and the cheers and applauses began!!!!! I was in my glory! She is my reason, my everything, my prize for surviving my past, the hardships, the losses of friends and loved ones, my questioning life and why it has to be so unfair, and the little hope I had left of finding someone I was suppose to spend my life with, share my happiness and sadness, my hopes and dreams. SHE IS MY REASON. 

The chocolate cake came out with "yes" written in pink icing, pictures were taken, congratulations were given, and it was the most perfect evening. One of many nights/days we will never forget as we have started our journey together in this crazy world we live in.